Agnes is a goblin bag lady who lives in the Labyrinth. She serves in the Goblin Army in the rank of Toxic Waste Processor. Her job is to collect the emotional baggage and dispose of the toxic psychological waste.
Agnes finds it cheeky when other goblins call her Sweet Cheeks. She is not a spring chicken, yes, but lots of people find her adorable. Although she is a bag lady, Agnes is well-dressed at all times and appreciates simple but tasteful jewelry – classy silver hoop earrings, an attractive vintage Nordic silver bracelet, and an antique lucky human eye ball as a pendant. (If you feel it is creepy to wear a lucky human eyeball, ask rabbits how they feel about lucky rabbit foot.)
Agnes is wearing a warm wool knitted sweater and a long frilled brown velvet skirt. Yes, she is wearing underwear, if you must know – modest and lady-like warm pink fleece bloomers. Being a Labyrinth Army warrior, she must wear armor, and she is wearing armored breasts plates (a little droopy, perhaps). The Goblin Commander told her on numerous occasions to obtain a helmet, suitable for a Labyrinth Army officer, but she prefers a durschlag (strainer, in plain English) – a helmet gives her migraines. For a similar reason – health (corns) – she refuses to wear anything but her old leather slippers.
Agnes might come across as abrasive old hag, but she has a heart of gold. If you invite Agnes, she will come and she will remove your baggage. She will collect it all – guilt trips, sad memories, anger, frustrations, irrational fears, she will break the chains and unlock the locks. She will also collect your dirty subconscious laundry, leaving your heart, your soul and your conscience clean and refreshed.
This is Agnes talking (she does not have teeth, so all “s” and “z” come out soft): “… No way to treat a lady like zhat… zhe cheek… let me shee what you have here… what izh in zhish pile?… oh NO, NOT A bundle of OLD MILDEWED “SHOULD HAVE” shoughts!!! oh, zhe SHMELL!!… … give me zhat bag… you really need to do your should laundry more often, dear… ”
On the photos you see Agnes after one of her waste-removal appointments. In her basket, there is a huge amount of stuff, including Return Route Maps for Guilt Trips, a bottle, marked “Bottled Anger”, sealed and prepared for safe disposal, a container with numerous worm-like creatures with a label “Wouldhaves and Shouldhaves. Toxic!”, conspicuously marked with the International Bio Hazard sign, a clean plate used in the field conditions as “clean slate”, a few Chains of the Past, a bunch of Keys to The Future, a jug with clean water and a rolled up blanket used for self-analysis sessions.
Agnes is an authentic One Of A Kind (OOAK) Morezmore Art Doll, fully hand-sculpted, without molds of any kind. Her base is signed and marked with Number 8. Agnes is 4.75″ tall.
Agnes is made from Prosculpt polymer clay and mixed media (natural wool, leather, mohair, plenty of other things). The base is made out of a piece of slate from the Blue Ridge Mountains. Particular attention was paid to making the doll structurally sound and strong, as well as attractive. That flip she is doing on the last photo was not for your entertainment, but to show that the sculpture can be handled without fear and all Agnes’ belongings will not fall apart. Agnes was sculpted over a strong epoxy-fortified steel wire armature.